The Toots summer

Just thought I would share a little about The Toot. This Spring he started pre-school full time and made lots of friends. He's been to the Beach, learned to ride a tricycle and speaks in full complete sentences. Mostly he makes us crazy, but we like him an awful lot. Here are a few pictures of The Toots summer.

practice makes perfect

me at last years finish line

Count down to race day....Yesterday I had my last track/swim Tuesday, and this past weekend I did a timed run through at the beach with the team. This is where we set up all our stuff and go through the entire race start to finish without stopping. Boy was it different. Normally after each leg during practice, I change clothes, drink some water, eat a Gu (slimy sugary stuff that has all kinds of highly technical athletic nutrition and such) and then head off to the next leg. Here's how it went:

Day before I made the mistake of drinking what I fondly refer to as; crack coffee, which is a Starbucks pre-made iced coffee mixture you make at home. I was staring at the clock every hour on the hour the entire night before the run though.

Day of the run through, miraculously I felt fine. I got to the beach set up my gear on the bike rack with everyone else and we got to it. There were about thirty or so team mates there. So the race start was actually pretty similar to an actual race start where you feel like you are swimming upstream with salmon, bumping into each other while getting out past the waves.

My swim went great. Sixteen minutes again. It was very different though getting out past the waves, not resting and waiting like we normally do. It was game on from the second we hit that water, no looking back. I ran all the way up the beach to the transition area and ripped off my wetsuit when we hit the beach again. I was focused and had no issues getting going.

My bike also went well. I kept my strong lead and rode neck and neck with one of the more advanced women on the team that I admire, and felt great about my ride. I tried to take a drink of my water and lost the bottle (which I did not report to Husband since he is on a need to know basis after he lectured me the first time I lost a bottle off my bike). Even with the fumble, I felt like I finished strong.

My run, well that's another story. I was feeling tired. Not like 'I can't do this' tired, but more like 'I'm dragging' tired. I was also very thirsty. I didn't get forty steps, let alone four miles in before I got a major side cramp. It was so bad that I had to walk. Desperate to beat my time from last year (2:12) I tried running again after thirty seconds of walking, only to double over again with the stupid cramp. There was nothing I could do but walk and watch as my great lead dwindled away while people passed me. I don't know about you, but my inner monologue persona is Lafayette from True blood. 





So each step that I took walking I heard in my head: "Hooker you better run, this is no time to walk bitch, get your ass moving!" By the time I had reached the halfway point I had been limping along trying to run for about two miles when I started crying from rage. I had been working on my run all season, my legs weren't even tired, this damn side cramp was killing me! That's when I started to hyperventilate. Tears streaming down my face and unable to breathe I realized I was gonna pass out if I didn't get control of myself. "Bitch you need to calm yourself, why you cryin? This ain't rocket science get a hold of your damn self before you pass the fuck out".... and so with those wise Lafayette words verbally bitch slapping me, I took deep breathes while walking until I was able to run again.

I later talked to my coach and other teammates and realized I was not drinking enough water. All that rushing through my transitions eliminated any water intake time I had been doing before. I was going to have to relearn how to hydrate and get nutrition while racing. 

What I also realized was that even if my body could tackle the endurance of a triathlon, I had to stay mentally strong also. After finally conquering my ocean swim fear, I made the mistake of assuming all the mental work was over, but it's not. I have to be ready for anything, and I have to forgive myself if I can't physically do it. It was a wake up call to this Hooker for sure.

Me and Husband

A glimpse at mine and Husbands relationship in two short stories.

#1
During Triathlon training on Saturday I texted Husband to tell him that I had my best ocean swim yet. Sixteen minutes for the half mile (largely due to a strong current). Regardless, my best swim of the season! I was one of the first out of the water, it was a great day for me. I got no response back. Monday afternoon Husband calls me at work: "I just went to the pool and swam a half mile in fifteen minutes. I just wanted to tell you that." I laughed out loud then said "so that's why you didn't respond to my text- you were busy crunching numbers in your mind about your own swim". "No" He said "I was really proud of you, then I needed to know my own time, now I know-fifteen minutes... and there was no current in the pool, you know flat water and all." uh-huh.

#2
During our routine bedtime ritual with The Toot: bath, changing into P. J's, brushing teeth, listening to stories -Husband and I were in The Toots room doing our usual chaotic cluster of trying to get The Toot to focus. "OK" I said "Go get your water bottle out of the living room, then we will brush teeth and then do story time." This is usually the time of day when The Toot starts to request a myriad of items to delay the bedtime process. "Can I have my water bottle?" He says right when I am telling him that we need to go brush teeth. Meanwhile, Husband is busy getting in my way by folding laundry that he HAS to put away right that second.The Toot does his usual run out the bedroom door to go collect thus and such, while I carry on with my chore of getting his bed ready and Husband limps around in his broken foot boot doing whatever he is doing. Suddenly, we hear the Toot galloping back down our long hallway, and we both simultaneously stop what we are doing and decide we will hide in his closet to pop out and and scare him. We scurry into the closet together laughing. We cram ourselves in, which is no easy task with Husbands broken foot and my 6 foot tall self hunched into The Tooties tiny closet. We huddle in there, planning our big attack, anticipation running high. "Was that him?! shhhhh quiet! quick close the door!" This goes on for a looooong time. Us hiding, crammed into the closet peeking out the door, thinking we hear him, jamming the door shut, whispering, laughing again. When suddenly we realize; its been a really long time since The Toot went to get his water bottle down the hall. Husband sneaks out of the closet with me on his heels creeping behind him. He opens the door to the bedroom to look outside. I'm waiting with baited breath, ready at any moment to leap back into the closet- when Husband walks back in and says: " he's in the damn bathroom brushing his teeth!" What?! Our little two year old is doing exactly what he was told to do: he's brushing his teeth. He is standing on top of the trash can in order to reach the sink, and has gotten his tooth brush out of the drawer by himself and is happily brushing his teeth in front of the mirror. Meanwhile, Husband and I are huddled in the closet like two crazy nuts waiting so that we can scare our child. This is when I realized that we are not right.

Moccasin anyone?

So maybe I told you or not, my job is ending. Not like tomorrow, but within the next eight months. I have time to prepare. Time to freak out. Time to have a melt down, and time to see what else is out there. I have been at my current job for seven years, so big changes are a foot for me.

I had my first interview in eight years recently. It felt oddly similar to doing a triathlon regarding the nerves. I didn't sleep the night before, my stomach was in knots that morning. I had nervous ticks and weird crazy person energy. The important part is that I had the support of my family and friends, well sort of. Here's how my morning went:

I got up on time. Went to make coffee trying to wake up since the night before I killed myself running track and swimming. There were no coffee beans to speak of. Nowhere in a house that goes to Costco was there a bean to behold! So I dragged myself (sans bra it was that bad) over to the Starbucks to get my caffeine on. Gently ignoring friends voice in my mind "don't over caffeinate pre-interview you don't want to be a spaz". I showered and was able to get dressed successfully, while Husband woke and dressed The Toot. Here's where the lack of support came in. I said to Husband after I was dressed, hair curled, make-up on, outfit in place: "How do I look?" to which he responded: "I hate those shoes, they are ugly and stupid and completely inappropriate for a job interview, even if you are interviewing at a laid back place. Otherwise you look great". I then said "Thanks for your support" and left the room. He followed up with an encouraging "you asked me to tell you!"

I was wearing Moccasins with my dress if you must know. I am known for my eclectic style of clothing. It's who I am and you either love it or hate it. Most people I find actually really love it and appreciate my style sense. Some though, have a mixed response. I have definitely gotten: "that dress is interesting" before, but it doesn't bother me. I can't explain why or how this all came to be, but I really have no self consciousness when it comes to clothes, make-up or hair. I really truly literally, don't care what others think and dress entirely for myself. Sometimes to my detriment, but mostly I find to my 'joie de vie!' Husband particularly is not impressed with my wacky sense of style. He has often over the years been entirely nonplussed about a certain outfit, only to be shocked when a restaurant waiter compliments me on the exact same outfit. He has even told me that he has learned over the years to not make a comment, because it has happened time and time again that he will then that same day be taken aside by whomever to be told how great my outfit is-no joke, it's happened before. He has come to the understanding that he just doesn't always 'get it'. He does however, have a great sense of when something doesn't fit properly or makes one look fatter then necessary- which is of course of great use. So I will from time to time get his input just to see how the other half live, as well as to make sure my butt doesn't look big in a pair of jeans.

This particular morning I already knew how he would feel about the Moccasins. I know he hates them. He was with me in the tiny town of Lone Pine in the mountains when I bought them at the Native American Indian knick-knack store. I knew what he thought of them then. I tried to warn him prior to asking his opinion interview morning, by saying: "don't include the Moccasins in your overall assessment on this outfit", but he just couldn't help himself. It was like watching someone with Tourettes. I thought he might say 'you look great!' and be done with it honestly. I didn't really think he would need to go into the moccasin debate of 2012 the very morning I had my first interview in eight years.

I really thought long and hard for about one minute before coming to the conclusion: that Husband wouldn't be in this interview. This whole job interview shebang was all about me, and the work I have done over the last 13 years, and to be plain and simple- it had nothing to do with him. I looked in the mirror and made the executive decision that the moccasins stayed, because it was part of what made 'me' me, and if I didn't get hired because of wearing suede lace up Indian boots then it wasn't the kind of place I wanted to work anyway.

The irony of course to all of it is that this is one of the reasons Husband loves me, cause he knows I don't always listen to him.

burn out

Lately I have been feeling well, tired. I went to Arizona over a week ago now and I feel like I really never came back from that trip. After that weekend my enthusiasm for exercise has been nil. I went to one spin class last week and then it all went to hell in a hand basket. I didn't do anything else -it was a disaster. I didn't even want to, that was the part that was the weirdest. I had no desire. Possibly because the week before my trip I did the whole Tri as a practice at the beach, and then went on my trip the next weekend. I just plain burned myself out.

Its so strange when that happens. I knew why I was burned out. It wasn't like a huge surprise or anything. I had spent a long weekend away from my family and although it was wonderful and relaxing I was still away from home and in a car 7 hours there and 7 hours back. Its odd to me when I feel apathy. Its not me. Its not the normal me anyway. My mother has been telling me since I was little that I have been overbooked since birth. She is not this way, so its especially daunting to her how much I do at any given time.

So last week I took the week off exercise, even the weekend. I hung out with the boys and just chilled. Guess what? IT. WAS. AWESOME!

I guess all the training this year has made me tired. Maybe I started too soon in the season, maybe I trained too much? I don't know. I know that I feel good. I know that I look better then I have since before The Toot was conceived. I know that I feel stronger then ever, but I do know that I am tired. Husband said it's the perfect time to take a week off since I have 4 weeks left to train before the big day. "You already know you have the stamina to do it, you need to take breaks". I know he's right, but why do I feel so guilty?

Regardless, this week I'm back on the wagon, back to normal again. I did my spin class, I did my track run and swim...I feel less tired, but still less motivated then before.

Send this Triathlete some motivation if you have any extra lying around, cause I think I might need it.

Arizona, my weekend in pictures...

 This last weekend was my girls trip to the spa in Arizona with Best Friend #1 and #2. I was very grateful to go on this trip since I have no money right now. It just shows you how amazing good friends really are when they tell you "just pay us back later..."

Any great road trip will include windmills I've come to find.

So I'm just gonna come out and say, that at the first rest stop I made the rookie road trip mistake and squatted over the toilet instead of using the paper slip cover and peed all over my skirt. I had to take my skirt off rinse it out in the sink and then drap it over the suitcases in the back of the car. Lukily when you are with best friends they don't even bat an eye: "we thought you were gone a while..."

First stop 108 degrees  -Jesus Christ!

We made it!

First gas station stop, in the middle of... oh yeah thats right , that would be NOWHERE.

Best Friend #1 less then jazzed about the extreme temperature

I was really excited about the Catus's though- I love shitty rest stops.

Look at this thing!

The Cactus obliged and let me take my picture with it

The girls keeping busy with road business, you know silly things like filling the tank and such...

...meanwhile back to more important things, taking pictures of the desolute desert restauraunt

Best friend #1 obliges to be my Vanna

So later the car breaks down, yeah that happened. Luckily we were about 5 miles from our hotel and right next to a Ford dealership!

Thank you Ford! and also fuck you for not making a better  'fan that cools the battery' whatever that is...

we looked at it all as part of our adventure...

Until we got into the rental car and saw that it was now 115 degrees.

it was a long 5 miles to the hotel

and a very sweaty ride

but once we got there, boy was it worth it! Thank God for Best friend #2 and her genuis idea of going to the fanciest hotel in the off season so its cheap and amazing!

everywhere you look- beautiful

we had finally arrived at our oasis after our long trek across the desert

We were happy again

and enjoying the beautiful desert landscape

and amazing adobe architecture!

and of course and few cocktails doesnt hurt anything...

it only makes the cactus look even more awesome!

I had a total crush on the pool

I could get used to this kind of living

Our dinner that night was fabulous!

waking up at 6am the next morning because Best friend #2 is pregnent and didnt drink - not so fabulous, but hey I made the best of it-back to the pool!

our dreamy hacienda

 to then be interrupted by my boys texting hello pictures or rather shouting MAMA!!!

then right back to my pool again...

a reminder from The Toot that my pool at home leaves a lot to the imagination.

we were really roughing it

it was obviously unpleasant

spending the day by the pool really bums me out.

dinner with the girls

I highly approved of my ladies landscape color coordinated Arizona outfits

"wait! I have to blog"

more beautious Cactus!

Seriously Arizona with your  Sunsets? Now you're just showing off.

to say our dinner was good would be an understatement

We ended our eveing with a drunken midnite swim, after watching the Olympics at the bar with a rowdy group of travelers. It was a pretty awesome night. 

I don't know if I told you but Husband recently accused me of running over a baby opposum in our driveway ( I did not). So in the morning before we got on the road to drive home I recieved this picture and a text that said: "I believe we have a serial killer on our hands, first the opossum and now a bird."  I replied: well at least now I'm ruled out. To which he responded : "No you're still our only suspect we know you had something to do with it, we just havent connected all the dots yet..."

the ride home was uneventful, especially after being accused of bird murder.

except of course eating at Mcdonalds which was great and disgusting as it always is

Home sweet home, sorta looks like a Taco Bell but whateves. A fabulous trip with my fabulous ladies...