I.T

So the other day at work I was having an annoying printing problem. I ichated my I.T guy and asked him to go onto my computer and see what the issue was. He took over remotely and I watched as the cursor moved across the screen clicking on and off various options. He quickly got to the root of the problem and then also showed me an alternate plan of attack in case I needed a work around if the same error message returned. I thanked him and moved on with my work. This was of course, all silently over ichat. If felt like a miracle how easily and quietly it was all solved.

I got to thinking what if everything in life worked this way? How wonderful it would be! On the freeway some a-hole cuts you off and then drives slower then the surrounding traffic. You could simply just click and a cursor arrow would appear on the moron in front of you, and poof! it would disappear allowing you to go a nice comfy speed of 75 mph again.

I considered this option also with my fight with Husband. How great would it be to have someone in I.T call him after we hung up angrily with each other, and just say "hey, so you know you were being a jerk, you should probably cut it out". I would then get home and Husband would be normal smiling and we could just eat dinner like usual.

The only problem with my life I.T person would probably be that at times they might call you on the phone and need to explain the Wiki system they just put into place and did you notice how the browser function was now working so much more efficiently? I would probably do what I usually do at work and sigh, knowing I needed to listen because it was the least I could do seeing as how on a weekly basis I.T saved my ass from some disaster. Plus, I don't even need to go into how strange every single I.T guy I have ever met is. Even the normal ones are slightly off. At one job I had, the I.T guy had a beard down to his chest, coke bottle glasses and long goblin fingernails that you just knew were specifically grown for something off putting like: the upcoming wizards convention where there would be a real life reenactment of the 1997 dungeons and Dragons champion move.

The one thing I do love about how strange the I.T guys are, is how oddly confident they always are in their weirdness, and how unfaltering they are with their knowledge at how stupid everyone else is.

Contemplating all of this, I still vote for a Life I.T guy to be a real option, even if he does act bored when I call him and tell him that I am having trouble making it to the bank and would he mind clicking on the bank and making their hours a little longer so I could make it on time to cash my check.

Why I hate Gisele

1. she's a model-this one doesn't really count cause I actually love models and have about 20 fashion magazines subscriptions-so skip that.

2. She gave birth

naturally in a bathtuband talked about how great it was-seriously?

3. She lost all the baby weight within a month-ok Gisele, this may be true, some of us (not me) are gifted with a natural slender frame, but did you need to spout this off to the press and make the rest of us feel like assholes?

4. she was quoted as

saying that mostwomenwere human garbage disposals during pregnancy and this is why they gain so much weight-Gisele, you're a jerk.

5. She couldn't

understand why anyone wouldn't breastfeed and said they were idiots if they didn't-hey what about those that couldn't? Ever think about that Gisele?

6.She claims that motherhood is the miracle of life and how happy she is. Clearly lady you are not working full time and trying to balance motherhood and your career.

7. she's married to

Tom Brady who is not only hot and makes a million gazillion dollars as the top paid quarterback in the NFL, but she probably as an international super model makes more ...ok Gisele, maybe you do look like a hamster when you don't have any make up on cause your eyes are kinda close together, but you know what? I'm not gonna hate you, because I'm bigger then that. I will tell you this: Gisele, are offensive to women everywhere, and the only other person I ever said that to before you, was the guy at the bus stop when I was 15 who asked me if I wanted a mustache ride.