Irony

Recently I made the decision that I would stop arguing with three year old about his clothes every morning. I gave up slowly over time. First it started with the black rain boots that he insisted he wear every day, now I let him. Then it was his shirt choice, mostly Star Wars, and then today I finally let go. When he began to argue with me about how he wanted to wear his brown pin stripped vest he insisted on, over the top of his heavy zip up sweater I patiently explained to him the concepts of "over" and "under" so that he could be clear on what he was really requesting. "we wear our sweaters OVER our shirts and vests". He seemed clear enough on what I was saying and then demanded that he wear the vest OVER the zip up sweater. I then relinquished all control and said "OK". The tears and battles are not worth it to me anymore, and what really am I holding on to? I love dressing him, its a joy I have- but really I don't have any issue with him dressing himself, mostly I just want it done.

Once we were dressed and on our way we stopped off at the Pediatricians office for a visit and then to school, where people at both locations stopped me to comment on how cute three year old looked in that outfit he was wearing. It was then that I realized how stylish he really did look with his black boots over his pants, his striped sweater under his vest, like some over done Ralph Lauren add of fly fishermen. 

The irony extends further when I tell my Mother about how difficult 3 year old is to get dressed and she cackles with laughter and reminds me for the millionth time how she used to refer to me as the Elizabeth Taylor of Van Nuys, because I HAD to pick my own clothes and that she eventually came up with the rule that she got to pick every OTHER day.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

This weekend we were proactive and got up early and went to the natural history museum! It was educational, inspiring and made Husband and I feel like we were good active parents. During our trip to the museum Three year old licked a random banister in a stairway, which he is prone to do from time to time. I will catch him while I am busy paying for something or hoisting heavy gear and look over to see him; mouth open leaning against a banister, a counter top or the worst one yet: the ladies bathroom sink at LAX, with his mouth open clamped to it idly waiting on me. So at 5pm that same day after the Museum, Three year came down with a fever and declared he needed to go to bed. We checked his temperature, saw that he was indeed sick and put him to bed. It was strange being alone in the house with just Husband at 5:30 PM on a Saturday. It felt foreign and I almost didn't know what to do with myself, except sort of feel a mixture of guilt and joy that the House was so quiet. At 9pm Three year old awoke. He threw up as gracefully as a Three year old can and then went back to bed. That's when the darkness descended over Husbands and my thoughts: "will we get it too?! We were just sick! I CAN'T THROW UP!" Husband went into denial and said "I can't talk about it!". I decided to eat a pint of ice cream, figuring I would probably throw it up later so I might as well enjoy a quiet house with some mint and chip while I awaited my doom. 

The next day Three year old woke up and was OK, still had a mild fever, but was himself, and the day after that was able to go to school. So far (fingers crossed) neither Husband or I have gotten this mysterious illness, and I wonder- is it because we didn't lick the banister at the museum?

Dog Park

Husband and I try and take Puppy to the park as much as possible, it relieves a lot of puppy biting and makes for a much better dog afterward. I don't know if you have ever been to a dog park or not, but they are thick with melodrama-no joke, at least mine is. It's not just the dogs that hump, fight and act aggressively; it's the owners who flirt, argue and act insane. It's a strange place. In the four short months that I have been going I have witnessed and been hearsay to: countless dog fights, screaming owners, a pregnant women who got bitten on her stomach by a dog! and bizarre dog/owner relationships. I don't even need to discuss the endless amounts of humping, peeing, pooping and slobber. In many ways it reminds me of a bar- crazy stuff can happen, it's always unpredictable excitement.

Take today for example. In good motherly fashion I decide to sneak in a quick dog park run with Puppy. Since Husband has been busy trying to better himself with loosing weight, he's been too overwhelmed with working out after work to take Puppy to the park. So today I decide to get up early and take our crazy dog to the park before work.

I'll set the scene for you, picture it: it's a dark, cold rainy morning. Grey clouds loom overhead slowly whisping by, the area is surrounded by large purple mountains. The stage is set for what could be battle in the large open arena of the dark park.... (I've been watching a lot of Game of Thrones lately can you tell?) Anyway, even though its rainy I decide what the hell? I'll take Puppy to the park for a quick twenty minute romp, and then drop him back at home before work. It was ambitious, but I'm a good Mother (substitute 'Saint' if you like here). 

Today there didn't seem to be much going on at the old park of drama...or so one would assume upon entering. There were only three other owners there with their dogs running through the muddy puddles.We could see one of the dogs that Puppy likes to play with. If you don't know this already, dogs are like people and tend to play with/like the same dogs within their age range or choosing and play with those dogs each time they see them. Quinlan is the name of this particular friend to Puppy. I don't know any one's actual name, the owners I mean. I only know the dogs names, this is pretty much standard at the park. Anonymity, I love it.

Quinlan's owner is a guy that I privately refer to as the 'English Homeless Guy'. That pretty much sums him up. He has an English accent, and when I first saw him I thought he was literally homeless due to his dirty ragged clothes and shaggy blond beard. I later found out that he is actually the head of some truck delivery company and he's probably pretty loaded, but he looks like a thirty something dirty homeless guy. There's something more then just the accent and the strange dirty clothes that make him kind of interesting: He's great with the dogs in a dog whisperer/Merlin homeless guy kind of way, but unfortunately if you gave him a rope instead of his fancy leash and stood him on the corner he would truly look like the vagrant with a dog that you give money too out your car window at the stop light. He's nice enough, almost attractive, and a man of few words who happens to adore my dog. Therefore he's pretty good in my book.

So Puppy and Quinlan go about their usual routine of chasing each other through the wet sloshy dirt, wrestling each other to the ground, and gnawing on each others faces. The owners usually just stand around. Sometimes I will wander over to a group and chat if I'm in the mood, and sometimes I will just stand there saying nothing and stare, which is socially acceptable at the dog park. Quinlan's owner chats with the other dog owners, but doesn't really chat with me too much. This doesn't really bother me since I'm an introvert and I'd much rather be the voyeur anyway, I'm perfectly pleased to just stand there and stare. Quinlan's owner does however really enjoy Puppy, and knows him by name and gives him lots of pats and attention. I sort of like 'English Homeless Guy'.  He's kind of mysterious in a weird homeless I live under a bridge and know a whole underworld that you don't know mystique kind of way. I find myself wanting to know more about him, without actually wanting to talk to him. There's a few of these at the park-interesting and strange people potentially worth knowing outside these chain link walls.

We stand around today in the muck and the cold and the dogs play and English Homeless Guy kind of hovers nearby while avoiding eye contact, and I stand there looking at my watch anticipating that I need to leave in order to be at work within a reasonable time. Suddenly the sky gets dark and in the distance at the other end of the park I hear a ferocious barking. It's far enough away that I don't flinch, but I notice a large German Shepard playing roughly with a woman. He doesn't appear to be hurting anyone or doing anything weird, so I carry on with my staring into space. That's when I see that English Homeless Guy has also noticed this barking, and his head perks up like an animal in the wild who can tell it may suddenly be prey. He stands motionless and stares intently at the other side of the park at the German Shepard. If he was a dog the hair on the back of his neck would be standing up, that's how extreme he suddenly seems. I watch him and look around like maybe I should start running or something, but I'm not seeing anything that would normally concern me. So I decide to study English Homeless Guy, maybe he will reveal more information and give me a clue as to what I should be doing right now instead of standing here like an idiot. He then mumbles something English to himself and then says:"I need to get a rock, get a rock". He looks around and quickly finds a few round pebbles and shoves them into his pockets. Suddenly we are in 'Braveheart' and I'm wondering if I should mark my face with mud stripes and go hide behind the concrete bench. I look over and the Shepard that he keeps eyeing is miles away playing innocently, not only that, but the Shepard's owner appears to be a mild mannered small Asian woman, not some pit bull breeder with a chip on his shoulder. I look at English Homeless Guy again and say casually, mostly cause I'm just entertained at this point: "you don't like that Shepard?" to which he responds with silence as the dark clouds float by over head, and a light rain starts to fall. He stares intensely across the field at the Shepard and then slowly says to me without looking at me: "if that's Vader, then No." With my recent post you would think I was making this up, but in all seriousness that's what the dogs name was. I figured with a name like that I should be working on my war chant instead of standing in the mud like a sitting duck.

English Homeless Guy quickly collects his dog and his fancy leash all the while never taking his eyes off the joyful Shepard at the other end of the park. He works his way over to the gate to leash Quinlan. Puppy at the that moment of course decides he should start biting Quinlan incessantly. I could tell  English Homeless guy needed to get out of there as soon as possible. Whoever this 'vader' was there was no two ways about it: it was time for them to go! It started raining harder, so I decided to follow suit when English Homeless Guy turns and says to me: "Maybe Puppy would like to go to the small dog park also." He says this like he is giving me some secret hint or tip as to what I should be doing next. I then notice that all the other dogs that were once in the large dog section have scurried out and have collected in the small dog park section safely on the other side of the fence away from Vader. I took this as my cue to leave. I didn't know who or what this Vader was, but I decide I'm not appropriately dressed for a battle at Farik with William Wallace.

Like I said, DRAMA. If you ever get bored go visit your local dog park, I'm sure you never knew what lurked behind that chain link curtain...

Lord Vader

So Three year old is obsessed with Star Wars. He loves all the characters, but seems to have a special attachment to Darth Vader.  I find this appropriate considering the new phase he is in. Since his third birthday something has changed with Three year old-he's funnier, more interesting and a holy terror. Like Darth Vader he has become the reigning lord of saboteur. People talk about two year olds like they are "so crazy"! No. Three is where it gets hard. At three they have the full capability of verbalizing their opinions and thoughts, so it's not just "no" to everything, now it's "I don't want to do that Mama, because I don't like that". huh? what do you mean you don't like that? 

With the new year, three year old has started a new preschool class, with new teachers and students. Like any big transition he didn't take to it too kindly. He finally stopped crying when I dropped him off, luckily for me because it also makes me cry, but he is still acting out at home. Like both Husband and myself, Three year old tries to control his surroundings when he's feeling out of control. The problem is not that I don't understand this, the problem is I'm on the receiving end, and I'm supposed to be the boss. Each daily task is like negotiating with a terrorist. I ask him to do something, he refuses. I ask him again, he refuses. I warn him that there will be consequences, he refuses. The consequences occur (time out) and then we start all over again with the next chore. The key I am learning is to stay calm, like in any good hostage situation you can't show your cards by flipping out, mostly because nothing gets done. Trust me, if loosing my temper earned me points I would be the ruler of the universe and all minions around the world would have to hail me as their Lord Vader.

Last night Three year who had not taken a nap (prime toddler terrorist breeding grounds) started the evening out OK, then quickly spiraled into a full blown suicide bomber on an airplane. By bath time his head was permanently thrown back, mouth wide open crying, this time because his band aid on his finger (which he doesn't need since the cut healed five days ago) had fallen off. I tried everything: telling him there was a new band aide waiting for him after his bath, making him laugh by imitating a chicken, being soothing, being firm-nothing made a difference. This kid was so tired and over whelmed I eventually had to wrap him in a towel, burrito style and carry the screaming tyrant to his room. He then continued to cry the entire time I put his pajamas on him since he was too crippled by carrying on to do anything for himself.

I realize that this is just a phase, and like always in a few weeks once school has settled, he will be his normal lovely self again. Hopefully he will also start taking naps at school again to. Until then, I need as much sympathy as possible. Even Husband commiserated with me. The look on his face when we went in to give Dada his good night kiss said it all, his face was so full of pity for me that I almost didn't recognize the man I married. I'm sure I must have looked so haggard and beyond repair that even Husband felt sorry for me.

Until the next phase, Lord Vader rules my home, and "You don't know the power of the dark side!".

Wednesday catch up

Here are some pictures from the holiday that I never got a chance to post. Enjoy my crazy boys.

a little Christmas cuddling 

Husband is a beast and this meal proves it, eating Cornish game hen with his hands!

practicing his Jedi moves. Its hard to look tough though when you are wearing little sandals with socks. 

Barnaby making what we call his 'Yoda Tooth face'

Chillin' with my boys...

more snuggling on the couch

new Christmas towel from our neighbors, this boy is so spoiled.

More 'Yoda Toothing'

me with my favorite Rose bowl parade float

3 year with his favorite float and crackers in his teeth. I like how my hat looks extended here by the float behind me. It makes me look really stylish.

What happened

Well true to my prediction the weekend went something like this:

wake up with the boys

They play like wild animals non stop while I watch my cooking show and try not to get a light saber to the head or my hand gnawed off

Husband finally gets up

to then become part of the pile of boys

He takes over playing the never ending game of Star Wars we have at our house

as well as being the human dog lounge chair 

and like every weekend we have toast...

and poached eggs for breakfast

this Saturday our day started with a play date with 3 year olds best friend

the park is always good for thinking deep thoughts...about Star Wars

Barnaby gets to have a play date of his own at the Dog Park, there is a lot more humping and peeing though at this park

on Sunday we finally said good bye to the hedgehog and got a hair cut

and of course there is lots more play time to be had

and by the end of the weekend mom is usually happy, relaxed, and a little worn out from all those feisty boys. 

Weekend

What are you doing this weekend? Here is what may or may not happen at my house this weekend:

Friday night is usually Zankou chicken night, where we order and pick it up. It's very exciting after a weekend of home cooked meals. 

Saturday morning I'll get up with The Puppy and the 3 year old and watch a cooking show while they climb on me and play until Husband gets up around 9am. Then we will usually lay around til 10am when we make eggs and toast. Then Husband starts cleaning the house/doing laundry while listening to music. This usually involves some wrestling with puppy and 3 year old. This weekend we have a play date with one of 3 year olds friends from school, whom we will meet at the park. I have never done an official play date that wasn't with a friend who had a child- versus a friend of 3 year olds who has parents. So it should be interesting. I'm curious to see if Husband attends. Sometimes he is very enthusiastic about family activities, and sometimes he just wants to veg out. Then we will probably eat some type of lunch. Usually salads or burgers or sometimes we just eat at home. This will depend on how well 3 year is behaving/moods etc. Then after lunch, it's nap time (one of my favorite times of the day).  3 year old will take a nap and often I will too. After nap it's time to take the puppy to the dog park for an hour. I do this while Husband wakes up 3 year old and gives him a snack. Then back at the house we loaf around until we figure out what we are doing for dinner. This Saturday night we may be going to an 80's themed birthday party. which is unusual for us since we never go anywhere, ever. I have left this up to Husband since these are mostly his friends, and he often flakes on plans. I announced earlier in the week that I would not be organizing any babysitter, since I did not trust that we would actually be attending said party. Husband also doesn't 'dress up' so the chances of us actually attending this party seem slim to me, but we'll see, the man still manages to surprises me after 10 years together. Sunday will be about the same, minus the play date and the party, but add in grocery shopping. Grocery shopping may be done as a family, or done individually depending on how the day is going with the 3 year old. This Sunday will also be minus dog obedience class (thank God) and add in a hair cut for 3 year old, who currently looks like a human hedgehog.

Hope your weekend is fun. see ya Monday!

Love,

Mommy D

decision

So this year with my job end date looming in the air like a fat fly buzzing around my head, I decided not to put pressure on myself in regards to exercise goals.

Usually I like t set a goal, make that goal, then create the next goal. It's just how I am. After last years triathlon, I had all these ideas:I would do a 100 mile bike ride in March and an Olympic length triathlon in May and then ease on into the Malibu triathlon in September. But now with the fact that my life will be completely changing in a few months after 8 years, I knew I couldn't do that to myself. Triathlons take dedication and commitment. It's hard enough to be away from my family to train for these things, let alone not know what my next station in life is going to be.

It's difficult for me to not have a goal. I'm still exercising daily like I always have, and if I want to do a 5k or 10k race I will. I want to keep my weight down, which means I need to have some type of routine, I just don't have it in me mentally to do more then a weekly routine right now. Husband is also dealing with his injury, which will be his set back for the next year, and without him to do all these rides and races with, that particular motivator is gone, which makes it a lot harder to say "hey see ya, I'm gonna take off and go ride my bike for 3 hours with your friends while you stay home and watch the kid and dog".

I'm striving for balance this year. That was one of my winter solstice/new years goals.I figure the world didn't end, so now I actually have to follow through, so annoying.

Birthing

Today we visited best friend #2 in the hospital, she had her baby! She had a girl so we know she will never have to deal with the torment that the rest of us feel with our crazy little boys who jump off the furniture. My son was actually moving furniture the second he could walk.

Seeing that new born baby reminded me of when I came home with my little bundle of joy. It was like entering the house with an alien who stayed awake all night, and wouldn't let you put him down otherwise he would cry like a ticking time bomb going off that you couldn't stop. Ahh the memories...

This is my baby

who turned into this...

mornings

My mornings are pretty hectic. Things had started to settle down and then we got a puppy, and by puppy I mean a 40 pound boxer mastiff mix that still chews everything, bites everything and doesn't exactly listen. I actually potty trained my 3 year old and the puppy at the same time-that's a lot of poop and pee!

Each morning is also unpredictable. Like take yesterday for example: the puppy slept on the couch the entire morning, thus enabling me to get the 3 year old ready even with his usual difficult negotiating tactics. I swear that child could negotiate his way out of an FBI building if he had to, simply by saying "no" to everything said to him. Today was not so easy. The puppy was very much awake and very much in the way the entire time I had to wrestle the 3 year old through our morning routine. Between the biting, the chewing of 3 year olds toys, 3 year olds whining, crying and pouting, I about lost my mind. Friend said to me today later at work: "I thought about you this morning, because its finally gotten easier (with her 2 year old) and I thought why on earth did she get a puppy?"

I've asked myself this question a thousand times, especially this morning when the puppy had not been to the dog park within 24 hours and is very rambunctious when he doesn't get to go to the park. The only answer I could come up with: that when he is finally done being a puppy, we will be happy that we put in the work, cause he is our dog through and through. I have to tell myself something to get through the days.

This morning while I was getting ready in the 30 minutes I have allotted after I have walked the puppy and before the 3 year old wakes up. I was in mid foot into legging when I heard a sound. The puppy had busted into the 3 year olds room while he was still sleeping and was standing next to his bed staring at him. Oh my god! I don't have a spare second for you to wake that child up any earlier then I need him to get up. I finally got him out of the room and closed the door. I finished getting dressed and then went in to wake up the 3 year old, who was still thank God sleeping soundly. What does the puppy do? He busts past me and takes a running jump onto the 3 year olds bed propelling the 3 year old about a foot into the air! Looking up from a dead sleep, 3 year old seems confused. "GET OUT OF THERE!" I scream and he bounces off the bed only to begin chewing on one of 3 year olds toys.

These are my mornings. I didn't even go into what I have to deal with just to get 3 year old dressed and out of the door. I feel like I'm waiting for something, waiting for the craziness to stop, waiting for these two to grow up a little into a more reasonable age, waiting for God to strike me with the knowledge of how to deal. Until then expect to hear from me  A LOT on this topic.

Winter of discontent

When I said I would post everyday, I didn't mean the weekend silly! Trying to blog on the weekends is like trying to wear a ball gown to the dentist, it's wildly inappropriate, and inconvenient with a house full of boys who constantly need attention. 

This past weekend wasn't awesome, and not really blog worthy any way. Husband got a respiratory infection fever on Saturday night, right at the exact moment I was wishing something heavy would fall on him for being such a asshole all day long. At least his terrible demeanor can be explained...sort of. Meanwhile, I have started to recover from this terrible flu and am feeling much better, yay me!

Someday maybe everyone won't be sick at my house, and we can actually have fun again. The highlight of my weekend was washing my hair on Saturday night. I was really decadent and outrageous and spent the time to blow dry (only because everyone else was sleeping). Then there was my glamorous trip to the grocery store, which I got to do alone, also another embarrassing luxury. This is when I realized that my life is not that fun right now.

Most kids sleep with a teddy, a blankie or some sweet stuffed creature. My kid cuddles with his light Saber.

New Year

I couldn't possibly catch you up on everything that has happened. But I can promise to post every day even if its just a one liner.

Today's news: I'm getting over the flu, not the stomach, but the death flu that's been going around. Four days of fever and sweating all night long. Last night I changed my clothes five times during the night because I was drenched in sweat. Guess what? I'm tired of being sick.

In October and November I had Bronchitis, then an ear infection thing. Then I was free and clear for two weeks, TWO WEEKS before I got the flu. I'm going to kill someone if I get sick again reasonably soon.

Besides all that, the home life is pretty nuts. Puppy + 3 year old boy + Husband = Mommy goes nuts more days then not.

I'll leave you with this.