You know the one, the Ex who I was with for 6 years before I met Husband, the one who I haven't seen in about 3 years since "the incident". The Ex who went through AA, and on his stepping stone process stepped on my head by telling me he had been sleeping with my best friend for the past 5 years. That lovable Ex who after our separation ended up working in the porn industry, only to become some big wig who started a whole new type of porn, ya know; girls with blue hair having sex....
As far as run ins go, broken down into a point system- 10 being the best, I feel pretty good about it:
My outfit was decent = 4 (even though it was a Sunday and I was caught off guard, so add an extra point there = 5)
My hair was a little crazy = 2
I didn't have a spec of make up on = 1
...8 out of 10 not so bad...
However, The Family really represented: Husband for some unknown reason had thrown on a nice sweater before leaving the house and Toddler was in my favorite outfit of his.
We stood on the corner the three of us, a picturesque image if you will; Husband and I both with lattes in hand, Husband (wearing the sweater) pushing Toddler in the stroller. We were waiting for the light to change when Ex Boyfriend appeared out of nowhere, as if he had been standing there the whole time I lived in this town and I hadn't noticed before. He looked at me and smiled "Hi". what's even stranger is how casual I was about the whole thing. I looked over at him as if just running into a neighbor while out on a Sunday stroll, instead of an ex boyfriend I hadn't spoken too since he announced step 8 of the program over the phone. He said he had appreciated the person he was with me the most, and that after our break up he had become a totally despicable human being consuming endless amounts of drugs and sleeping with inappropriate women. He may not have said that exactly, but you get the gist...
After the run in Husband commended me: "you were really amazing!". Was I? I knew my voice was calm, I knew that I hadn't throat punched The Ex, I knew that it didn't really seem like that big of a deal at the moment. It actually seemed kind of normal to be honest. We chatted, he told me he wasn't working in porn anymore, wasn't living in the house he had bought, was looking for a place to live, and was now working at a dub house. It appeared quitting drugs had done some changes on him.
I was struck by a few things while talking with him:
1. How nice he was, there was no weird bragging like he used to do. He was actually a nice thoughtful person with nice things to say.
2. How genuinely happy he was to see not only me, but Husband and Toddler as well, like he had just run into old friends on the street...and
3. how very much like an old gay Queen he had become...
Now I say this with wonder, respect and curiosity. It was hard for me to get over his interesting mannerisms: The hands whipping flamboyantly through the air, the odd speech pattern, the pitch of his voice. I tried to decipher: has he always been like this and I just never noticed before? or was this something new? Best Friend # 1 generously offered upon hearing my story that maybe I was taping into his softer, nicer side. Could this be a new softer version of this man humbled by excess, coming out in a Queenish lilting vibe? Was I reading him wrong or was this the man he had always been and I had never seen it before?
Its hard to say, but my mind was boggled. To not have ever noticed these apparent glaringly obvious personalty traits before was eating away at me. I questioned Husband:
"Did he seem different to you?"
To which Husband responded helpfully:
"I don't know babe, I've always thought he was a weird guy"
The bottom line was Queen or not; it was working for him, and I suddenly liked him so much better then I had in years. If this was the real version or softer side of this man, the true person inside after the drugs and endless years of editing close up shots of Vajayjays, then I rejoiced for him! This newer 2.0 version of The Ex, was the better version as far as I was concerned and I was happy to see the transformation.
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