Mommy Dearest: to my 20 something year old self...

Inspired by a fantastic article about 'advice' that a friend sent me: I thought I would write my own version of:

What I would tell my 20 something self if I could talk to her now.

When your best friend tells you that she wouldn't sleep with your ex-boyfriend, like everyone around you has been claiming she is doing, don't believe her. Know that unlike Clarice in 'Silence of the Lambs' Hannibal Lecter will come for you when he escapes, you are not immune to the monsters in life because you are their closest friends.

Just because your job is boring and isn't going anywhere, doesn't mean your next job will be the same. And yes, your job can be your career, not just your job.

Being a creative person doesn't limit you to a life of a crazy person, you can function in a normal world also.

The people you have the most fun with and feel the most free around are the people you will end up keeping in your life the longest. Stop holding on to the people that make you feel bad/weird/tired every time you see them. It's OK to not stay close with your childhood friends. Its also OK to not be friends with ex-boyfriends. In reality its actually a hell of a lot better if you're not.

That great fun relationship with that super crazy guy is never going to end well. Magnify all the fun you had with him because of how crazy he is, times a hundred- and that will be how un-fun it is when you end it with him.

Even though you are not particularly athletic right now, doesn't mean you will never be athletic. There is a lot left to learn in life after your 20's, and that includes how your body works.

When you feel a spark with a person, they feel it for you too, but just because you have chemistry with someone doesn't mean they want to be with you.

Great love begins with great friendship.

If you are ever sitting in a car with an ex-boyfriend and he gets out of the car in a huff because you are arguing, and you feel the intense urge to run him over with your car and wonder if you are maybe a bad person, don't feel bad about this- turns out he gets worse and your urge is pretty normal.

Being a good friend doesn't mean you have to pay someone back right away. A good friend lets you take your time when they know you are having trouble. The best friends you have will always give you what you need and never make you feel like an asshole about it.

When your Husband tells you that the woman you spent time talking to at the party is cool, don't disagree with him and tell him she is 'a snotty bitch' because later when she becomes one of your best friends he will remind you of this almost every time he sees her.

Try to stop yourself from thinking that Husband is not your type when you meet him, because he is too cute and too nice. Know that in a couple months from that day you will be standing next to his fire place and out of nowhere, he will look up at you and say: "you are a magnificent woman". Meeting the love of your life may not come in the form you think it will, enjoy all the surprises that come with being with the person you are meant to be with.

Later when you and Husband break up for 10 days and you feel like your heart is being sunken into the depths of the earth it's so heavy, know that two years from that date you will be planning your wedding, and two years from that date you will be finding out that you will be having a son that fall.

Cherish every moment of smoking cigarettes and drinking til 4am, cause it doesn't last and you will miss it at least once every week.

Don't be so arrogant about being in your 20's and how great it is.Being in your 30's is way better.

Stop obsessing about your negative bank account, you will have enough money to survive and money will always be an issue one way or another, so don't waste your time.

Remember how sometimes you feel really sorry for yourself over something really stupid and you stay up late crying really hard? Next time, stop and appreciate the fact that you have a lot of people who love and care about you, some people really do have no one.