what goes around...

At the age of 35 I have reached that point in my career where I have come full circle in my small industry to see my past haunt me...why age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill in two stories.....

story #1

A long time ago I worked at my first job making those general mistakes one makes when one is young and stupid. Like wearing really short skirts and inappropriate outfits to work, acting annoyed when asked to do menial tasks, and dating the boss's 19 year old son.

At 24 I was recently broken up after a long term relationship and single for the first time. I made the poor decision of dating the VP of the companies borderline manic depressive, drug addicted, immature son. Not only was I working with him at the time, but he also still lived at home with the VP. To be fair, in my mind I wasn't technically dating him; I never considered him my boyfriend, and always felt free to do as I pleased, I cannot say the same was true for him. I did none the the less date him on and off for about 3 years without really openly admitting this to anyone, as far as I was concerned I was single. The VP was known to be a few things: flamboyant, irrational, emotional with a fierce temper. I personally never had a problem with VP myself and can honestly say I was always done right by. The VP not only had the son working there but also a daughter who was my age, as well as an ex- spouse. These are things that happen in my industry: inappropriate nepotism is common place.

Needless to say, my relationship with the son did not end well. It became a long winded emotional albatross for many months afterward. Although I had what I consider a wonderful phrase with the VP's son, I realize now that he was in many ways a stepping stone to who I am presently, he was never going to be the person I wanted to be with.

Here's what happens in a small industry: years later I would be married with child when I would become VP's daughters boss. At first this feels strange (there are more stories here that I'll have to go into at another time) but then the feeling passes as I realize she wants as little to do with me as I with her. She also happens to oddly be an excellent employee. She begins to date and become serious with a supervisor. This supervisor one day asks me if I would hire the VP's daughters parent-and no this is not a riddle, he actually asked me if I would hire VP...

supervisor: would you be opposed to working with VP again?

me: um,...well, not exactly...

What I wised I could say to supervisor, which I did not say, because I was busy being diplomatic and appropriate, was this:

"Are you fucking kidding me?! First off this person was the VP of the company I used to work for when I was a mere peon, and you are now asking me to hire this person as a peon with me as their boss?! Secondly you have just informed me that clearly this person is desperate for work which alone seems vastly private considering the fact of my history with this persons daughter whom I continue to work with.... and thirdly, oh yes lets not forget the most important part of this: I may or may not have had sex in this persons bed while they were on vacation, and lets not forget that when I broke up with this persons son he then threatened to kill himself.... so the answer here would have to be "no, I don't think I would consider working with VP again at this time".

What I did say was: "I'm not quite certain this will work out at this time, I would have to approach my boss with this question as we are not currently hiring for this position".

story #2

One day a new employee came into my office to be introduced to me. I had heard his name floating around that he was looking for a job. I had worked with him before and knew him to be a good employee. I hadn't seen or thought about him in years. When he walked into my office his face turned red as I stood up to shake his hand. Suddenly, I remembered that the last time I saw him was at his house where I had done a line of coke for the first time with him and some friends.

I flashed back to his dark apartment where he lived alone. I was there with Best Friend number 1 and two dudes we were hanging out with. God only knows why we were there. It was the first and last time I would be at his apartment. We had snorted a line after drinking beer all night at his house after work. The guys teaching me what to do, how to to use a dollar bill as a straw, how to use some water so my nose wouldn't dry out. I was wearing a short jean skirt that one of the guys kept jokingly lifting up like we were in lower school and then laughing. We went to a party afterward at this weird house with a giant art installation in the front yard shaped like a uterus. I used the bathroom high as balls wondering if the space was where the person lived or worked. I remember sitting on the toilet flummoxed by the question and trying to lean out the tiny bathroom and read the books stacked on the floor to figure out if someone actually lived in this space or merely used it as their personal art office.

"Don't forget all the cats" Best Friend number one reminds me when I retell her this story. "what cats ?" I ask "You don't remember how at his house we kept talking about how he had all these stray cats in his yard that were pissing all over the place? It was like the main topic of conversation the whole night".

I realize standing there in my office that this is why his face is red, because he is remembering this same night. We smile, and he laughs nervously and we shake hands as if we have never met before and then both awkwardly say at the same time "oh we used to work together". He then walks around my office and says "Wow, your office is really big and your hair is blonde?'" and I think to myself...' jesus christ I've come a long way...'